When you're young, you're told to live the same life as everyone else. Go to high school, graduate, study at university, find a BOY and get MARRIED, then have millions of children and rot yourself away until you die. That was my stepmother's idea of "living life". NOT mine!
All the early years of growing up in Auckland have become so different, not just in people but in your life. It takes a toll on your mental health and just stings for hours to days to even YEARS. I was not too fond of most people in Auckland, not because I thought they were weird or wrong but because everyone lived the same way as another sheep in the herd. WHY are you following the crowd? WHY do you dress the same as everyone else in town? WHY do you not want to do something extraordinary in your life? WHY does no one want to do big things in life? I feel alone with all these thoughts. Never-ending, is it me who's too much for this small town? Is it me who needs to be like everyone else? Am I losing a battle that I'm fighting for? Right now, it feels like I'm fighting against the wind, trying to make it up in the air and fly high up in the clouds and prevent the stormy winds, rain and clouds from keeping me scared for life. I HATE Auckland!
Another big thing is the tall poppy syndrome. It's all around us all. I am a blogger, a YouTuber, and someone who advises those who want to be given a soft fantasy of their truth. I am more of a TOUGH love kind of girl; I don't like to bullshit around when it comes towards shit to do with living. IT IS HARD! Especially trying to become successful in anything. The tall poppy syndrome is bound to come knocking at your door at 3 am, so be prepared. My friends and most of my family either doubted me or thought I was delusional about what I was passionate about. This is why I prefer to stay anonymous and refuse to give many details of my life, especially to friends or work colleagues. If you won the lottery, you wouldn't tell anyone, and neither would I if I went into blogging, YouTube, or anything significant happening in my life.
"just move to Australia," they all say. Moving every time something terrible occurs does not always solve the problem unless the environment makes you sick; in this case, it is the environment. Small town mindset Auckland is, and the rest of New Zealand. Visiting Australia only made me feel more homesick for an odd reason; it's just with Sydney. I have a great offer on my place, opportunities, and convenience of going places with public transport and fewer Uber trips. That's what is keeping me here.
Why is everyone here always obsessed with race car drifting, doing drugs or getting high for useless reasons? Why not make up your time to start a business, write, film or start something extraordinary for your own life? Because they're all small-minded and just instead "fit in" with society and their peers, ESPECIALLY the Instagram fake bitches. I'm being so honest that you can't unknow once you see it. As a single female, I have become so isolated from making friends and staying in contact with anyone because of their mindset and poor decisions. I can see why many highly successful people can be wealthy but lonely at the top because no one else has the same mindset or wants to build their life up. Sad if you think about it, you got one life to live, and this is how you treat it.
All these people in this small but overcrowded town do nothing but gossip and talk about drinking as it "signifies" their personality and who they are. They would rather ruin their skin and body and waste days just doing drugs and complaining about drama in their life, pretending to be "mature" when they can't even be the bigger person and move on with their own life. I tell you all my friendships and relationships have drained me and made me miserable; one minute, you're doing something fun, then the next, you have an epiphany and tell yourself, "I'm bored". Thank u next! I want to build with my friends, have our businesses, and talk about nothing but business and doing better for each other while we all sit at a beautiful cafe drinking our tea and eating muffins.
For my future, I expect to move out of Auckland and probably somewhere small, continuing to live "undercover" as a blogger and website hostess like Tara in Radio Rebel. Then, I would move overseas after I conquered tiny homes and rental places in this country, becoming a landlord. In terms of making friends or dating, I'd like to stick to being a lone wolf for a few years, although I have forgotten how to talk correctly to anyone and to talk in a proper sentence; so much social anxiety and fear of judgement from small-minded folks in this country. I hate Auckland. It gives everyone a headache, and it's only for the rich, not if you're in your early 20s trying to make it somewhere or start a business.